February 24th, 2009

Video: Women Bullies, Women Targets – GMA


By Anna Wild and Jonann Brady, ABC-TV Good Morning America,
February 24, 2009

Joan Frye, featured in the clip below, is the Tennessee State Coordinator for the WBI-Legislative Campaign.

The bullying magazine executive played by Meryl Streep in the film “The Devil Wears Prada” is played for laughs, but women bullying other female employees in the real world is no laughing matter.

Joan Frye, who worked in a hospital in Nashville, Tenn., said she endured nearly two years of bullying at the hands of her female boss, which led her to a mental breakdown and a long court battle.

Just four months into her job, Frye, 62, said she knew there was going to be trouble with her boss.

“She had me come into her office for my 90-day review, and she started, ‘We don’t click. … What are you going to do about it?’ Not what are we going to do, but what are you going to do about it,” Frye said. “I knew then that we were going to have a serious problem.”

Frye said her boss undermined her in front of employees, isolated her from senior management, gave her impossible deadlines and humiliated her. She dreaded going to work.

“One day she would be nice, and the next day she would attack,” Frye said. “She would glare at me. She would make noise like ‘haaa’ if I was talking to somebody. She would walk between us and turn her back on me.”

After she complained to human resources and senior management, she said, she was transferred to another department. After six months in her new position, Frye said the problems with her previous boss led to a mental breakdown, forcing her to take a medical leave of absence.

Frye filed a lawsuit against the company. Four years later, after exhausting her savings, the case was dismissed. The court did, however, describe her old boss as “an equal opportunity oppressor,” calling her management style “abrasive” and declaring that the difficult relationship contributed to “disabling problems” for Frye.

Suffering in Silence
Many women are afraid to confront their bullying bosses and suffer in silence, said Gary Namie, a psychologist and founder of the Workplace Bullying Institute.

“You should not have to risk clinical depression, debilitating anxiety, or — and as 30 percent of women experience — post-traumatic stress disorder. You shouldn’t have a war wound in the workplace,” Namie said.

It’s a war being fought across the country in all types of workplaces. An estimated 54 million people say they have been bullied at work, according to a 2007 WBI survey conducted by Zogby International.

While men tend to target male and female employees equally, women bosses are likely to aim their hostility toward other women more than 70 percent of the time, according to a survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute.

Workplace experts have different theories on why women more often target other women. Some say these women see female co-workers as possible competition for only a few top-level positions.

Namie said it’s more important to get help, not try to analyze the tormenter’s motives. The institute says more than 80 percent of those bullied lose their jobs, and 41 percent suffer clinical depression.

Recovering Bullies Confess
The Growth Leadership Center in California counsels women whose “tough” office demeanor amounted to aggression.

In a “bully broads” roundtable discussion, a group of women talked about their hostile workplace behavior.

“I actually made someone cry. I sort of went over the edge, and as I closed the door I thought, ‘That was not me in there,’” said Christine Forter, one of the women in the roundtable.

“I knew I was a bully, but I thought I was justified. It is the perfection combined with the urgency that creates a lethal combination,” said Christine King, another woman who took part in the discussion.

By attending counseling groups, some “bully broads” said, they hope they will be able to recognize how their negative behavior affects others and try to make changes in their management style.

“Like, you never say, ‘That is stupid,’ but you pause and say something like, ‘That is an interesting idea, and let’s talk about it,’” said Monica Palm, another group member.

But for people like Joan Frye who have been bullied, the debilitating effects of a hostile work environment may last forever.

“I feel like this took away my life as it was. It caused damage to my family; it caused damage to my reputation; it caused damage to us significantly financially,” Frye said. “I feel like it was probably the worst thing that has happened to me in my entire life.”

How to Fight Back
The Workplace Bullying Institute recommends these steps to deal with problems in the workplace.
  • Get support from family and friends. Talking about the problem eases the burden and lowers the chances of stress-related illness.
  • See a doctor or a therapist, especially if you’re having stress symptoms, such as sleeplessness and appetite loss.
  • Get witnesses to help you build a record of the bully’s actions for a future complaint.
  • Confront the bully with the same toughness he or she showed you. This should be done with a single witness or as a group.
  • File a complaint. It can be risky for your job, but if the previous steps didn’t work, it’s essential to establish a paper trail.
  • Make a case to remove the bully. You want to show your employer the costs of keeping the bully and of losing you.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 24th, 2009 at 6:30 pm and is filed under Media About Bullying, Tutorials About Bullying, WBI in the News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.



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  • RN RN

    Boy, I, too, have suffered at the hands of bullies off and on throughout my 35 years in the workforce. I have seen both male and female workplace bullies.

    Sometimes I see that the bully is extremely insecure, knowing that he/she is in some way(s) inadequate in their employment positions. Therefore, since I am kind to everyone, an ‘instant’ welcome to the organization, but what seems to be the last straw to the bullies – when clients and patients who are taken care of by me begin to show appreciation, gratitude and public praise towards me, then I ‘become’ the bully’s #1 ‘threat’ and target.

    In other cases, I have seen bullies who absolutely hate their jobs or work environments, or who are having serious problems outside the work place, but bring their anger to work and ‘vent’ onto whomever gets into their way when they are already on the verge of exploding from any additional stresses.

    Do these two situations sound incredibly familiar to the rest of you, who have been targeted by bullies? Wow, I have truly suffered – physically, emotionally and professionally – not just from the bullies, themselves, but also from anyone else who either joined the bully, allowed the bully free reign to torment me and others (usually management), but also any person who stood by silently watching it happen, afraid or unwilling to be a voice to support those of us who needed their testimony.

    That last group is especially painful to me if they are personal ‘friends’ of mine. They proclaim their affection for me, but are too weak and afraid to stand by me or to tell anyone “Hey, this is not acceptable speech and/or behavior and needs to stop here and now.” I would do this for anyone I saw being picked on by a bully. But I have never had it done for me. That’s when the stress really takes an even greater toll on my emotional and physical wellbeing. I feel let down by so-called friends who ‘say’ for years how much they like me and do things with me, but when I really need them and ask for any kind of support, they dry up and vanish.

    Stay strong, stand up, never stop demanding that bullying no longer be tolerated anywhere, including the workplace!

    RN, RN in Hawai’i

  • Pingback: Ferber on Bullying: Getting It Right

  • Valerie Laster

    I experienced workplace bullying in my last position. A co-worker who had been at the firm for 4 years, attempted to assume authority over my person and activities and when I resisted, it got worse. I reported it to HR but it seemed to them I was the problem. I eventually resigned and the co-worker contacted me indirectly on my facebook account. It has been a very difficult situation especially since it took a while for me to heal after the abuse and I am still healing.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/NW6FDXP5NNRPZ576SJ3O46BZ2E J

    I like how they put a circle together of only certain race of women.  For the record I have been bullied by black women supervisors, white women, hispanic or latina whatever and also Asian women supervisors……

    also these women bosses and favorite coworkers bully too.  Also if that isn’t enough the good ole boy

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