April 15th, 2009
Bullying is Morally Wrong
Doing nothing is not a neutral act when an individual pleas for relief from the emotional misery bullying inflicts. Doing nothing is denying the person credibility as an adult. Doing nothing is sustaining the status quo and defending the perpetrator, however implicitly or indirectly. How dare HR, the primary agent responsible for implementing or blocking the employer’s response to reported bullying, side with the bully (most often in management, 73%) against the employee who naively came to HR for “help”!
So at the beginning of our second decade, we must not be reticent about calling perpetrators and those who support them immoral. It is not our subjective morality that is violated, but the deeper sense of human dignity that is undermined when victims of bullying are not supported. We need to rekindle our compassion for those less fortunate than us whose fate was not their own making. Bully apologists have an indefensible, unconscionable position of favoring abuse.
Once we are bullied and feel the full force of a laser-focused campaign of interpersonal abuse, we drop the smug justifications for the bully. If we work long enough in enough different places and encounter enough incompetent bosses, we are likely to be bullied ourselves in our work life (37% of U.S. workers are). The only people who still doubt that bullying happens are the ones who have never suffered an unexpected, univited disaster or catastrophe. Events humble arrogant superiority known only to those lacking experience in bullying, direct or witnessed. But we should not have to wait for everyone to be personally bullied so that they understand how destructive bullying can be to personal health, careers, families, and employers.
Paraphrasing comments from a recent U.S. president: you are either with us or with the perpetrators. The fundamental question is to which side are your willing to commit?
There are not two equally compelling morally equivalent sides to the violence at work dilemma. No one targeted by bullying invited or wanted the intolerable misery. There is no “win-win” amicable mediated settlement possible in bullying situations. To tolerate a little bit of abuse, to appease perpetrators, is unacceptable. It is a moral compromise that leads to societal decline. It triggers retrospective questions such as, what have we allowed ourselves to become?
The choice is simple, actually. Do not squirm to make it complex. The ethical human choice transcends corporate or institutional needs.
Either side with the perpetrators of violence and rationalize and excuse the escalating trend toward hostility and abuse in the workplace
or
side with the targeted individuals who asked for nothing more than to be left alone to do the jobs they once loved.
Dr. Gary Namie, WBI
Read Part 1: The Fundamental Question
This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 15th, 2009 at 5:44 pm and is filed under Bullying Tutorials, Social Justice. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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Very nice blog. I totally agree with your thoughts.
Very usefull, Thanks
I am victim of bullying to the extreme. Caused physical and mental problems. Could not get any help from HR. I was tormented to the point I had to leave my employment after 29 years and was threatened if I tried to come back there would be more torture. This was government position and I was abused by federal law enforcement officials. Can’t fight the govt.
I am a victim also of extreme bullying and if I told the media they would love to sensationalize it. I would lose my job that I still work at and would probably never be able to work again. I am considering it though because it might just be enough for the State or Federal people to do something on it. I did complain four times and I work for a City. I and co-workers were ignored the first three times because of an incompetant HR director, and on the fourth complaint they demoted and left the bully with us. My desk is 1 foot away from his. I had a mental breakdown and had to leave for a while. I can only work now because they temporarily told him to stay away from me, but I have a time limit to recooperate or else. I sent a letter to the President of the US today. I won’t stop sending letters until someone will listen! I was diagnosed with PTSD, extreme anxiety, panic disorder and have health problems from this.
My information about bullying help get completed after reading this very useful and informative post .
I am currently a target in my workplace. I am a nurse manager caught between union bullies and administrators who support them. We are in union contract negotitations right now and the union is filing unfair labor practice lawsuits against managers and filing petitions to fire us. Administration is very patiently and respectfully listening to all the lies put forth by these union bullies that control the hospital and assure that safety and quality remain less than a priority. I cannot take it anymore. The situation is insane and the patients are suffering. Administration will not even sit down and speak to the nurse managers to get their side of the story. Why does society allow bullies to rule the world and where can we targets go to find a healthly workplace that will support our doing the right thing for the patient and promote the practice of holding poor employees accountable. Be aware that my nurses dropped a baby and then covered it up for hours and days, my
nurses are not calling MD’s in the middle of the night with lab results that are very important to saving the lives of preterm babies, my staff are refusing to come to work, they are refusing to be in charge when they come to work, my nurses are refusing to fill out incident reports. I am ashamed to be affiliated with this dept. and these very unprofessional registered nurses.
God help these small vulnerable babies who need your protection.
GF
Several years ago I left a financial planning practice I had built from the ground up using nothing but my own personal networking. When I left I had over 100 clients at this Fortune 50 company. Unlike a lot of planners at these firms, I had no clients from company provided leads given that essentially, from the start I refused to cold call, opening saying it was morally repugnant. This was where my problems only got started. After almost five years of daily abuse, micromanaging, demands from “mgmt” to “get on those phones and dial for dollars” and promises of the opportunity to become “independent” of local management and have my own practice I was forced out under the constant daily micromanaging and bullying. Name calling, public dressing down in “training classes”, endless coaching sessions (which were really individualized bullying). The dreaded “phone clinics”. Whether you were a “newbie” or a veteran we all universally hated management because of the open abuse. Each day, every day (including Saturdays) anywhere from 35% to 80% of my day was scheduled and structured completely cutting my off at the knees and making it impossible to service my clients. With the level of compliance in the securities industry, this creates an untenable situation where production and making money for the company supersedes the need to remain compliant. In the end most advisers lost their practices under the constant torrent of hazing (called coaching, by the usually under 25 yo and male mgmt). Usually it was a “compliance issue”. But, if you’re not given time to remain compliant….well, you get the picture. It was a pyramid scheme.
I am still haunted by my experience. I thought this was a world renowned firm….I would be safe here. What a chump. After leaving I let my licenses laspe and though I loved my work and my clients I don’t believe I will ever return to that industry. Not long ago I decided to give it one more shot and interviewed with a number of large firms. I was treated with interest until the final rounds before accepting positions. One branch manager called me back and threatened me when I asked about a less than complementary website under his name, another suggested I pay them $25,000 to join the firm, and another told me they would happily hire me for the bargain basement rate of providing them with 200 names and numbers of “my prospects” (with that as a good faith act on my part they would hire me). I realized the industry has spiraled even further downward since I left and finally gave up hope.
The securities industry, shockingly even with all the regulation is an horrible offender when it comes to bullying. Most new and experienced securities representatives/financial planners see it as a necessary evil and try to get past it….most never do and plenty of great people leave the profession. The branch I worked at turned over hundreds of people where I worked over 4-5 years. So many that anyone there over a year generally took the attitude that generally it wasn’t worthwhile getting to know a new recruits name…they’d be gone in 6 weeks. It was a shark like environment.
It’s obvious to me why we had a banking crisis. I complained all the way up the ladder….and at every step was met with shock, disbelief and abject lack of understanding of any wrongdoing around their business model. They believed until the end in what they were doing. Scary. Most bullies do.
Thanks for sharing this info guys.It helped me to some extent!!
Not only is bullying morally wrong, it is also criminal behaviour.
Workplace abuse is the same thing as domestic abuse, and the punishment should fit the crime.
Once one is bullied, one’s life is changed forever, and all the rhetoric does not change the effects of having been bullied.
If bullies understood that their actions would have legal consequences, then, maybe the cycle of abuse would finally be broken, but I doubt it.
Bullies psychological makeup is sociopathic, and they cannot comprehend empathy, their world view is skewed and warped beyond any genuine human compassion and respect, the world revolves around them, that is why when targets/victims seek assistance and support, they unleash the bully’s fury, “its not me, its them”.
As far as this target is concerned, in order to eradicate bullying, we must change the way in which we perceive human relationships.
US workplace culture condones bullying, and until that perception changes, bullying will continue.
Will a Federal AntiBullying Law Bill stop bullying? I don’t know, but its a good place to start.