August 10th, 2009
Podcast 6: The Bully’s Personality
Podcast 6:
The Bully’s Personality
Tutorial: Fun with explanations for bullying that don’t lead to solutions, but provide personal satisfaction gloating that it is they who are defective! This is a long one – 11 min.
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Tags: APD, bully's personality, Machiavellian, NPD, personality, psychopath
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I really appreciated the comment about how it is really up to the organization to address the bullying problem and the target can only do so much. Keeping this in mind is really helpful when considering some of the unbelievable behavior that organizations allow.
The failed legislature to make Workplace Bullying a situation of Worker’s Compensation has seemingly put a halt to growing awareness by organizations.
As a target, I chose to leave a non-profit organization after attempting for one year to reduce the situation. I gave a 30 day notice, had all tasks and requirements caught up and in order for my replacement, and completed the 30 days without response from Management. However the organization allowed the situation to continue in my attempts to seek new employment. HR stated that I had “left the Agency under questionable circumstances”. My comment is that without legislation, organizations are not likely to reverse their inaction towards workplace bullying.
Workers comp is an industry entirely created by and for employers. It was designed to eliminate lawsuits against employers by employees as an alternative when someone is injured. To add insult to injury (literally), the business lobby (Chamber of Commerce, US and in every state) is eliminating stress as a viable WC claim. In other words, they put you in harm’s way, injure you, then deny the right to claim an injury of a psychological nature. In many ways, we are the dumbest and cruelest country in the world. Gary Namie
As the 10-year target of a micromanaging control freak, I have read tons of online articles about dealing with control-freak bosses. Without exception, they put the onus on the target. “The control freak is driven by fear and insecurity,” they tell us. “To deal with him/her, you must try to allay his/her fears and anxieties.” For example, they advise inundating the mega-controlling boss with status reports, updates, and other information.
It. Doesn’t. Work. When I inundate my boss with information, she invariably manages to find some eensy, insignificant, throwaway detail in my report that she can seize upon, misinterpret, blow way out of proportion, and then force me to research to death as part of her favorite pastime, the Blame Game. Or else she notices that I CCd a colleague outside our team (the Sin Against the Holy Ghost), whereupon she has conniptions over *that.*
The advice doesn’t work. And it’s unfair to put the onus on the target, anyway. I’m dealing with a deeply pathological person, and I’m not a shrink. There’s no way I can “manage up.” I don’t have the expertise to do so; plus, as a target, I’m too vulnerable to do so. Above all, in my experience, it doesn’t work. Period.
It’s refreshing to find a site that recognizes that the burden should *not* be on the target. Thank you!!