This must be the biggest farce ever foisted on the human resources industry.

Bullying is not conflict. Bullying is one abusing another.

It makes it so much easier for HR to simply apply a legal term to bullying, thereby shifting the blame from the perpetrator to the victim.

The only “conflict” with bullying, is the bully.

There is no way that someone other than the target, knows exactly how they feel, or how bullying effects them, and if you have experienced bullying, then you know exactly what I am refering to.

“Consultants” or “Conflict resolution” specialists, are merely paid mediators in the employer’s interest, and the employer is only interested in the most results for the least of amount of their money.

Don’t delude yourself, “conflict resolution” means, remove the complainer as neatly as possible, and move on, employer’s don’t tolerate being exposed.

He is not pressured to stop his actions.

There are ideas to help correct toxic workplaces. Perhaps someday, through WBI’s efforts, some of those ideas will become useful.

Jay

Although I act as an arbitrator on expedited commercial cases for the AAA, I do not do mediation there. Nor do I mediate, professionally, with “people.” Professionally, I help attorneys settle their lawsuits for their clients. And because I do not do workplace mediation professionally, I do not see bullying disputes when I am busy making a living.

I do, however, volunteer my time as a community mediator (free) and as a mediator in the Los Angeles Superior Court (also free) in civil harassment cases (which include family violence and workplace violence; and, lots of neighborhood violence as well).

Mediators who do this work are highly trained and are not affiliated with any corporate entity or corporate interest. Though some people who experience being bullied are responding to sociopaths for whom mediation is just another opportunity to manipulate for self-advantage, most of the “bullying” I see arises from misunderstandings; historic resentments; broken relationships; and, unaddressed justice issues.

In most of these cases, both sides report being bullied by the other and both sides tell credible, textured, detailed stories that move the mediator to pity. Transformative mediation, however, is not about pity.

The fathers of transformative mediation practice are no corporate tools. They describe “conflict” (and bullying IS a conflict) conflict as “a crisis in interaction. In the midst of that crisis, all parties . . . experience confusion, fear, disorganization, vulnerability, uncertainty and indecisiveness. They also experience defensiveness and suspicion. http://www.mediate.com/articles/pynchonV1.cfm.

Transformative mediation moves the parties from self-absorption to recognition and empowerment and, eventually, to accountability, forgiveness, amends and reconciliation.

We mediators sometimes wish that there were a “mediation standard” or “ADR industry.” At the present time, well-intentioned people are engaged in educational and training activities in an effort to move from a rights/remedies/power over means of resolving conflict to an interest-based, collaborative, power with paradigm.

We are doing so in prisons and in the community. We are doing so in the criminal justice system (through restorative justice practices). We are doing so in the legal system and outside of it. There are many organizations who would be happy to join with you in finding solutions to the problems you are addressing here.

They include Mediators Beyond Borders(http://www.mediatorsbeyondborders.org) and other peace-making mediation groups, organizations and institutes, all of which are dedicated to the resolution of conflict that is people-centered and transformative.

If you’d like more information on these “no-corporate” ADR resources, feel free to drop me a line.

Best,

Vickie Pynchon