Thank you!

Great scenario, I have to listen to it in small increments because I have flasbacks and I become angry. Wish we could do more of this on a broader scale to increase awareness.

Excellent. Yes, so true, so sad. It is too bad bullies get away with it. I had a neighbour & her husband that moved next dorr about 10 yrs ago. They wanted more land (mine) so the bullied me/us to try to make us move by siding with the police and having us arrested 19 times in 3 year. We had never been to court in our life, but now at age 57, we were familiar faces there. they finally used enough string to hang themselves. There was little we could do to stop them, altho, we were never convicted of any of their fabricated crimes nor were we fined.

The pattern here is disturbing. Everyone seems to have experienced this in the same way. Even assuming Susan is a composite, the pattern is frightening. In my experience, the behavior of the dean of my college is identical to Maude’s behavior. There are no differences, except that she was here when I was hired. She has done everything Maude did, plus something criminal. Most importantly, she worked directly with and through HR and she is a close friend of the HR director.

However, my response was not similar to Susan’s. I experience stress related problems, but I remained largely dispassionate at work. I always knew I did not deserve the treatment I received, no one does. I assembled evidence carefully and followed policy and deadlines in making my complaints. Although my outward response was very different from Susan’s, I received the same treatment. I was accused of being “angry” and “disruptive” and of “harassing” other employees. I was treated as if I were insane and I saw a colleague receive very similar treatment. My colleague had also been very professional and relatively dispassionate in making her case. I always thought the response from administration seemed irrational. Administration always spoke in non sequiturs.

My supervisors seem intensely angered by the fact that they have not been able to completely destroy me, so they work harder at destroying me. I realize I am fortunate in having some benefits Susan did not have. I am a contract employee, so terminating me at will would result in a breach of contract suit. They have no control over my health insurance because I am a retired military officer and I do not need their insurance. So, they work harder to harm me in other ways. They slander me professionally, lie, try to alienate me, etc. They have suspended me without cause and threatened to cut my pay (also would result in a suit). They have cut off access to my work email account, which is the only means they use to contact me. It is a freak show.

This pattern of behavior comes from HR. Since the reaction of the bullies is the same regardless the response of the targets, something formulaic must influence the actions of administration/management. It all looks scripted at some level. This all reads too much like it comes from a bully guidebook. Increasingly, I think the biggest problem lies in HR. Nothing Maude, or my dean, did would have been fully effective without HR’s aiding and abetting. If we could drain the HR sewer, we might disable the bullies.

Decent people do have a tendency to do that thing it says in the Bible: “look for the log in their own eye before the splinter in another’s.”

However – although no-one is perfect, and there’s room for improvement in us all – there has to be an acknowledgement that to the question: “Is it me?”, in cases like Susan’s (and mine, amongst so many others) that if you’re the “go to” expert who has long been beloved of colleagues and contributed more than anyone to the creativity, productivity and morale of their department or specialism, the answer HAS to be: “No! It’s them!” Easier said than done, I know (although I’ve done it, and continue to do it – much to the fury of my bullying employers) but the very fact that I know they are despised and derided and I am loved and respected is what will always keep me going.

It’s neither vain nor arrogant to keep hold of the fact that you couldn’t possibly have deceived yourself all those years; that documented figures and accomplishments don’t lie. Bullying may break your physical and mental health in so many ways: but it doesn’t have to break your spirit. Don’t leave an open goal because you’ve taken your eye off the ball and have got confused and over-emotional.

This approach may help you in court or at a tribunal; it may even help your mental health to some extent. It doesn’t, however, help your physical health. The constant bullying showed itself in the collapse of my immune system and near-death from double pneumonia – aged only early-forties and in excellent previous physical health. Of course, there are signs that it takes its toll mentally: hypervigilance, constant exhaustion, anger and frustration (which the whole family of a bullied person feels on their behalf) – not to mention sitting trawling anti-workplace bullying websites like these for hours on end.

I’m based in Britain, and have only just discovered the Namie’s excellent work and campaigning – previously, my “guru” on this was the late Tim Field – but the message is the same on both sides of the Atlantic. Only the best are bullied. You haven’t done anything wrong: you’ve just been targeted by some inadequate who finds your competence and popularity threatening. It’s not you: it’s THEM!

i have come across many different scenarios of bullying in the workplace, alot of it mainly breaking the law and a personal dislike towards my the person i am. Alot of it is made to take advantage of.If you do not know your laws and your own rights. However i have rectified many and i feel for those been through alot and i will fight to this day to not be used as some taken for granted person who employers feel they should treat you, different and reluctantly causing dramas with everything, such as pays,work ethics, and just like to pick a fight. Professional abuse. I took one industry to ombudsman for him using staff to pay for drive off at a petrol stations, especially if they are from your bosses country. How professional abuse and gold digging companies are when they own one, and become greedy. I even experienced bullying in a R.S.L Return services league hospitality and every law they broke, verbal abuse of called a ‘fucken idiot’ by a manager made me angry and upset with his dislikes towards individuals who aint his cup of tea. Retail industry such as Big W who bullied four and a half years and got away with it. I was gladly to leave a gain more education. Out of all these industries i worked for many years, only one of them never got away with it. I know how these people feel. Best to fight for your right and the OHS should take it seriously. Emotional and psychological effects it causes can invade and push the individual to the worse major low self esteem when in the time been bullied. It took me many years too fight and after one year and a half, i went back to work.

Please help. I listen to the podcast and it is my story almost exactly except my story is more tormenting. I am on medication I have been diagnosed with PTSD I am in bed and depressed and have anxiety and now have infectious disease contracted from being in the hospital. I am so sick now. I have lost almost everything. I have worked at this company for 20 years and was known as exactly you described in the PC except for that I was a manager. Please help. I cannot perform self help because I am so sick but want to possibly file a legal suite or raise some awareness to bring this to the attention of people. Please please help me.

Hi,
the same things happened to me by my boss. I was falsely accused of intimidating others because in a team meeting my boss asked everyone to do an extra task and I responded by pointing out that I was a bit busy at the moment (I was performing 2 jobs as someone else had left recently). Two weeks latter my boss said that because I responded with this comment in this team meeting it caused others in the team meeting to be intimidated. After a month of defending myself against false accusations from my boss and the HR department (they just joined in with the bullying), I finally realised that it did not matter how much you had truth and logic on your side, these people are nasty and you can never win. I ended up on medication, getting no sleep and with thoughts of suicide. I eventually left and al those bullies have got away with it. This all happened in Victoria Australia where I am told they have comparatively strong workplace bullying laws. Don’t believe it, this organisation had OHS and bullying policys, procedures etc, but these made no difference at all.

What I still cannot understand to this day is why do organisations allow this to happen. On a purely economic basis (believe me I have given up in believing that an organisation has any ethics or intefrity), how does it make sense for an organisation to not protect its high performing staff from jealous bullies.

P.S love your work and all comments. Wish there was a similar site for Australia.

My wife is going through this exact situation on her job. She is a federal employee, but her family and I have encouraged her to quit. It has been very difficult for me to see my wife in such a horrible level of depression. It makes me very angry at the people that have done this to her. She had panic attacks all weekend. She works so hard and she is a brilliant woman. My wife does not deserve the treatment that she’s been getting from her supervisors.

I was also the target of woman on woman bullying. The pattern, details, and escalating nature of the bullying depicted in the story could have been lifted directly from the ordeal I recently endured. I was hired by this woman to replace her last manager who had quit abruptly with no job in sight (in spite of the worst economy anyone can remember). Too late, I learned that I was the 3rd person to fill this position in as many years (which was as long as my troll of a manager had been in her position). Over the next 15 months, stress, anxiety, self-doubt, PTSD, insomnia, guilt, and chronic depression became my daily reality as I tried in vain to keep my pride in work, my self-esteem, and my job intact. It was almost a relief when I was fired for “performance reasons,” soon after being placed in the “progressive discipline” process – which is a farce in itself.

Sadly, most of the things I learned from this experience are basically negative in nature. For those of you who are currently dealing with a bullying boss, and think you’re on the verge of getting fired, listen up:

1. HR is never, ever going to help you with a bullying issue. I did not even consider going to my HR department with my problem. Contrary to what some people may believe, HR does NOT exist for the benefit of the employee. They exist solely to handle paperwork, maintain the status quo, and keep the company out of legal trouble. They are OBLIGATED by their function to assist the employer in facilitating the dismissal of employees perceived as “problems”, “poor performers”, etc.

2. You can throw all ideals pertaining to right behavior, justice, common decency, and fair play out the window. “Might makes right” in this environment. Most likely, the bully will not be fired, disciplined, or demoted. Instead, she will be allowed to continue on her path of destruction and move on to the next target.

3. The company may try to make you quit first, so they won’t have to pay unemployment premiums. If you don’t quit, be prepared to be fired, at any time. If you’re keeping documentation, which I hope you’ve been doing, get it OUT of the office NOW. Keep it at home, not your car. NOT in your desk or any place that can be accessed by your employer.

4. You can probably still collect unemployment if you are fired, unless you’ve done something illegal or really egregious (like punching your boss in the face.) However, be very careful that your actions, while you’re still employed, don’t cross the line so the company can say you were insubordinate, which may endanger your unemployment. Refer to your company’s personnel policy for specifics on what they consider insubordinate behavior. Continue to do your best till the other shoe drops.

5. Really, your best recourse is to just get out. Get another job if you can – unless you feel like gambling additional years of your life, sanity, health, etc. on the off chance that your situation will improve.

6. Find a good employment lawyer and invest in a one-time consultation. I’m glad I did. I learned some useful things about protecting myself, what my options were, etc. At the very least, I gained a little more peace of mind and some sense of gaining back a little control.

Ironic, I would have probably quit soon, anyway, because I was at the point of losing my mind. So, I’m unemployed at present, but I would probably be dead if I’d stayed much longer. Am I healed? No. Am I getting better? Yes. It’s a long road back, but with God’s grace, I’m getting there one day at a time.

I wish the best to all of you!

Win/win or no deal was created to combat workplace bullying.