March 30th, 2012

Adults Can Be Bullies, Too


Read the accompanying online article here.

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  • http://www.mgmt-in-a-nutshell.com Jay Jacobus

    This video is a very mild portrayal of bullying and the remedies suggested are reliant on the good will of the bully and his supporters.

    Compare this video to the actual story of Kevin Morrissey and two different perspectives emerge.

    The video shows a mild problem with obvious solutions. The Morrissey story is a horrendous problem without a solution so far.

    The Morrissey story is the accurate one.

    • J.

      I agree. The advice offered in the video is naive and following some of it could cause the target more problems.

      • kay

        I loved the press attention though. I was so excited to see how the reporter illustrated what the numbers meant within his own workplace. Counting out the employees and then saying how many statistically would have been abused was good clarity.

        I loved the urgency the reporters relayed about being in a situation such as bullying within your work environment. They stood and it was seemingly breaking urgent news (unlike sitting behind a desk) It was good to show intensity and at the end speak of how peace is so important at work.

        I loved loved it. I wish this type of attention to the abuse would be regular. This is something that needs to be fought until it is over, just like sexual harassment. Until laws are in place, we have to shine the light on it.

        The real failure here is the lack of mention of retaliation. That is the real tragedy. It is much like being raped or beaten and then you drag what’s left of yourself to the police station (or HR / MGMT) and you are patronized or asked, Well did you wear a skirt that was too short? or did you make the bully think that you would be good to take a punch and have war waged against you?

        Your answer would be No! as you begin to feel like your losing your senses, then gather your certificates and proof of positive character and work history awarded to you to state your case. Then they will finally tell you to shush and it is “just some co workers being mean”. Nothing happened and don’t speak about it. You then go to EEOC as it continues and you are bleeding from wounds unhealed and in shock.

        Finally the company terminates you and then your life is really turned upside down while you have your psyche destroyed and PTSD.

    • http://www.mgmt-in-a-nutshell.com Jay Jacobus

      Psychological pressure works on the minds of employees to make them lose confidence, give up hope or feel afraid so that the boss can dominate.

      Some pressure tactics:

      Yelling
      Shunning
      Hyper criticism
      Mocking
      Sarcasm
      Embarrassing
      Rejection

      In tyrannical countries executions, imprisonment and torture create psychological pressure which repress all people. The intent is the same. The tactics are more fearsome.

    • kay

      You said it. The remedies that are suggested do in fact rely, and when we say this and I think this is the main point that needs to be stressed everywhere publicly-The remedies like a voluntarily instituted company policy will in fact rely on the company mgmt to enforce them- My company has an ethics policy that is called rules of engagement. They were 100% violated over and over with every documented scenario that I’d documented near verbatim and provided to my company.

      When the female said, she’d like to punch “her” (me) to the other young female nearly next to me, that violated the -rules of engagement for violence and respect or hostile environment.

      When the girl said again, I’d like to punch “her” (me) and asked the supervisor “if he’d provide the ski masks” Or the other woman said “do it, I’ll walk away”

      Or when the girl said “di*kh**d” behind me with her husband one night when the staff was thin.

      Or when I was call princess and b**ch and more. Or the male sup called my co worker Olive oil and told her not to wear her hair pulled back as she looked like Olive oil. Then said “aw shut up Olive oil” as I sat there and she told him to stop. I could go on and on until finally the indecent video voyeurism of me by male sup.

      My female sup witnessed the two young females making a harassing scene calling attention to me and standing menacing and she told HR (knowing how toxic the environment is and even told me “they did — to me too”.

      The result, nothing. Ultimately PTSD for me and I am terminated for having it, and forced out. My family’s life and stability on the brink.

      The entire point is that THEY WILL NOT ENFORCE SOMETHING THEY ARE NOT REQUIRED TO. Politics will rule and good well meaning hard working people will suffer and be in shock at the blatancy of the abuse, duration, retaliation and cover up.

  • J.

    I am glad to see adult bullying in the news. However, some of the advice offered in the video is bad. The two that stood out for me were the suggestion that, if the bully is your boss, you should wait until a later time for a calm discussion and the suggestion about taking the problem to HR.

    If the bully is your boss, there will be no good time to have a discussion about the problem. You will always be at a disadvantage trying to rationalize with an irrational bullying boss and you will never be able to negotiate your way around the difficulties. If a bullying boss has targeted you, that person will never take steps to work with you to address the problem – never. Further, trying to discuss the problem with the bullying boss will likely exacerbate it and give the boss more insight into how to attack you later.

    HR is something to use only to satisfy employer and/or state and federal requirements – to be used safely, HR should be treated as a hoop to jump through so you can say you did as much as you could to deal with the problem inside the employment construct. Never trust HR. Use HR knowing it is there to protect the employer (at best) and, when you are at risk of becoming adverse to the employer, HR can easily become your worst nightmare.

    I noticed the comment in the video that bullying victims are not protected by law and this is generally true. However, bullying victims should be told to check federal and state anti-discrimination laws to make sure none apply because there are strict time windows when discrimination is an element. The easiest way to to this, in the US, is to go to the EEOC’s website.

    • kachina

      I agree with you J. I would add that this advice hold regardless of the existence of any internal policy that might exist purporting to support targets. The stakes are too high to rely on management comittment to compliance. Go through the motions as required by internal policies…but do not trust anyone inside the organization. This goes for union representation too.

      Hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised. More likely not.

      • kay

        I support the -IDEA- of union, but let’s not even get started with the failure of protection there. It is 100% a joke, as far as my experience. I don’t want to overgeneralize or attack unions, as I have respect for what they are -supposed- to do and be for a worker.

        The two union women in my work were major perpetrators and did NOTHING, but for miss a lot of work and help the buddies that were chronically absent, irresponsible, and mediocre at the job. If you were upstanding and tried to be very decent they would tear you down. They even mocked the firing of a seemingly good worker and with their assistance he lost his job. They then played games with me nearly daily saying “princess- she’s goin with-blank” and used his name to threaten my firing. Even as I was kind and silent about all that was going on around me. The employees would say to others, “she will help you get fired, she wasn’t protecting you” when others had valid issues with the company.

        These examples are just points to say, you are right. If there is no law, there will be no compliance, therefore no solution, no correction and no justice.

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