Thank you for continuing to provide acknowledgement of our suffering even so close to the day in which America is basking in the festive enjoyment of the holiday.

It is true that targets of workplace bullying cannot much celebrate these or any other holidays. Long gone are the cookouts, music playing in my home, parade of family coming in and out of the doors, laughing and discussions of trailing down to my city’s designated gathering spot where they provide a display of fireworks. Long gone are those days…ended before they were ever many. Nearly immediately as I began to embark on and enjoy my career and working life at this company, I was targeted. I managed to pep up for only a few holidays where this scene was happily experienced on holidays at home. As the horrendous abuse progressed and then ultimately the crescendo, I fell into a downward spiral and was drowning in shock, depression and a constant reliving of the near daily abusive events and final acts. 

I was being pushed under water as I kept smiling and presenting a facade of resilience all the while still being amongst the top performers in my unit and labeled “most positive” employee. I had a double duty…the work, and hiding the harm that the abuse was having. I loved my job, was very great at it and was experiencing unimaginable demeaning, disrespect and then covert yet blatant threats and intimidation while still trying to keep it hidden and persevere.

Joy was drowned out of me. The appreciation for the small things was sucked from my psyche. A blue sky, gardening (even as a very young woman), and just maintaining a decent happy family and efficient running happy life was my joy.

I feel as though I have been to war. Many watched the bus monitor horrendously and relentlessly demeaned, threatened and abused as she sat in shock…still speaking at times to erect her boundaries…they were trampled and ignored by those kids. I immediately thought that they’d learned it from either their parents directly as a matter of their parent’s character, or they’d learned it because of the lack of character instilled and displayed by parents.

These people grow and enter the workplace. This is EXACTLY the treatment I’d experienced at work. Often more subtle, but at times nearly as shockingly blatant. Diminished and denied by the company. I feel as though I have been to war.

There are no more holidays for me. I don’t want to begin to try and celebrate anything until this WORKPLACE BULLYING law is passed and implemented so that I can begin again safely.

I’ve been bully free for about seven months now and I had a wonderful independendence day.  There is only so much enjoyment one can get out of life when being mobbed most days of the week.  It takes time to recover and rebuild after leaving a toxic workplace, but it is worth it.  I pray those who still suffer will find freedom.