December 12th, 2015
How do we excuse this cruelty? A nurse’s story
I’ve pulled a comment posted to the suicide research post. It shows how quickly life can spiral down for an otherwise competent nurse. Some many to blame, including her family.
In her own words …
I’m an RN, I resigned unwillingly Sept.18 from the Veterans Affair. Its difficult for me to determine if I was experiencing bullying, harassment and or discrimination but the end result an attempt to end my life July, 30th, 2015, spending 12 days in the hospital.
I was diagnosed with PTSD and medicated for nightmares while hospitalized. I’m or I was a well functioning Bipolar II. I endured (from a newly arrived nurse manager, moreover the was not my manager) bullying/harassment for 14 months,mid Jan 2014-Mar 2015 and on March 26th 2015 – June 17th she and another official came at me with a vengeance. On June 16th 2015, around 4:30 pm after entering human resources and reading false accusations, a co-worker’s description of me and a sticky on top of the charges “AL, can we ask for fitness of duty, reprimand or suspension” (I had no write-ups prior to these false charges) I started crying, I was devastated, shocked.
I have no memory of leaving the HR office, driving into work the next morning, my next memory was approx. 12:45-2:30 pm my work schedule 8-8pm. Instead of management or co-workers looking for me or being concerned, they accused me for patient abandonment from 12n-2pm and escorted me off the unit.
On July 20th after reading the fact findings of the charges against me, I called my EAP counselor, because I knew she could clear my name. I whaled as I heard her tell me, “xxxx, you called at 11am. again at 12n.” There are no words to describe what I was feeling, I paced, cried, cried, could not eat, sleep and on the July 30th, I gave up. The pain, fear, was unbearable.
On the day of discharge from the hospital, I was in group and my counselor states “Well xxxx, you’ve got some family issues to work on.” I had no idea what he was talking about. The counselor said my brother had called asking them to block my mom’s number and to stop allowing me to use the phone (day 4 of admit), my brother accused me of verbal abuse on my mom!!!! I do not remember doing this, my nurse then informs me, on the day if my discharge, says, after 5 days of admission I ask the nurse “how can you give me medication if you don’t know me.” The nurse acknowledged my concerns of memory loss.
I can’t believe or comprehend these unfathomable events, I’m lost. How can this all be happening. I suffered/suffer fear, anxiety, terror, pain, uselessness, worthlessness, impending doom, shame and guilt!!!!!!. My livelihood was taken from me.
I’m in the first stage of foreclose of my home, I can’t find a job due to, no reference, attempting suicide. I live in severe fear so much so, I tie ropes from one door handle to the other so no one can come through the other bedrooms , I then wind the rope around my bed post as a brace to each bathroom doors, finally I tie off the double doors to my bedroom. I literally have to go under the rope to get in bed.
HOW IN GOD’S NAME CAN ONE WOMAN HAVE THIS MUCH POWER. This woman was able to turn my co-workers of 8 years from me, I was shunned daily, I don’t know what this woman said to the other official because she and I were friends prior to March 26th 2015 but she came at me with such rage. My life I had and who I was, has disappeared. I’m numb, I live in disbelief and there are times I want to give up, there are times
I’m afraid I may hurt myself, but do it right this time, my heart is broken, I’m broken. I can’t be treated for the PTSD, no insurance. HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING, I DON’T UNDERSTAND?!!!
While in the hospital my sister came into my house and took what she wanted and made a huge mess and drove my car wherever she wanted, I’ve sold everything in my house except my bedroom and tv, my brother stole $500, After being released from the hospital Aug.12, my brother has come to see me twice, my dad has not called nor come to see me. I’ve left my house only twice. I’VE BEEN TREATED LIKE TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This entry was posted on Saturday, December 12th, 2015 at 8:02 am and is filed under Target Tale, WBI Education. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.