March 16th, 2012

Here’s the real reason you are being bullied …


It’s been a relatively quiet week here at WBI. Dr. Namie is traveling and, aside from some activity in Canada, there’s not much media about workplace bullying. We couldn’t finish the week without reaching out to all of you, so I thought I would try to explain why you are being bullied.

A little background: I answer the phone here at WBI and talk with many Targets about their experiences. Early in our conversations I usually hear questions and hypotheses about the bullies motives. Its easy to see that Targets spend many hours trying to dissect and understand how their own behavior triggers the attacks and plays into the bullies motivation.  After being under the thumb of a bully, thoughts and self-doubting like this is completely understandable.

This is when I break the news, explaining the reason, the real reason, you are being bullied.

Because the bully is irrational. He or she has chosen to torment you. The bully needs control.

That’s it.

Since the behavior itself is irrational, you will not be able to flesh-out a reason for the mistreatment. Don’t beat yourself up because an unrepentant aggressor is threatened by you.

Targets dare to be independent, they are more competent , they are well liked, they are ethical, honest, not political in the workplace. All these qualities make you a great employee and a great person.

Emotional intelligence and empathy are also characteristics of a Target. You try to understand what the bully goes through. It makes you willing to change yourself and be more accommodating. Don’t try to change yourself in order to appease the bully — it will not work.

Be selfish. Make your health the priority and enjoy the support of your family and friends while working towards a place that appreciates and protects you.

Hope you have a great weekend.

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This entry was posted on Friday, March 16th, 2012 at 2:23 pm and is filed under Fairness & Social Justice Denied. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.



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