Posts Tagged ‘bully’
Thursday, May 28th, 2015
How to Handle An Office Bully
By Arlene Dawson, Essence Magazine, June 2015
When brainy go-getter Nicole*, 28, accepted a position at a trendy beauty start-up in New York City, she thought it was her dream job. “The company promoted itself as being progressive,” says Nicole. But her work situation devolved quickly and became more Mean Girls than The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
Early on, when Nicole wasn’t dancing at a company party, a White coworker said to her, “You’re Black. We hired you because you could dance.” Other colleagues laughed. “I always thought that if this type of thing happened I would come back with a response, but I went to the bathroom and cried,” Nicole recalls. “I had never experienced those types of comments—racism—so blatantly in a work setting before.”
Nicole reported the incident to her immediate boss and her complaint got laddered up to the CEO. Although her superiors feigned remorse, she says, “That was the beginning of the end for me in the company.” The bully got promoted, found out Nicole “told on her” and escalated the bullying. During staff meetings, Nicole says her ideas were met with coldness; the bully rallied other coworkers not to associate with her; and more negative remarks—this time about Nicole’s naturally curly hair and clothing—ensued.
Even management turned sour, setting her up for failure by assigning impossible, vague projects. And despite Nicole’s management of million-dollar accounts, she recalls work review meetings being filled with nitpicky, unfounded accusations. “They were systematically trying to push me out without actually firing me,” says Nicole.
Tags: advice, Arlene Dawson, bully, Essence Magazine, Gary Namie, target, workplace bullying, Workplace Bullying Institute
Posted in Media About Bullying, Print: News, Blogs, Magazines, Tutorials About Bullying, WBI Education, WBI in the News | 2 Archived Comments | Post A Comment (
Friday, February 20th, 2015
Richie Incognito, the most visible of the three perpetrators in the 2013-14 Miami Dolphins bullying scandal, was the only one to not play in the NFL during the 2014 season. He was probably considered a public relations liability. Even the violent NFL stayed away from the emotionally volatile veteran offensive lineman.
At the end of the season, Rex Ryan was fired as head coach of the NY Jets and hired by the Buffalo Bills. The bombastic boastful Ryan promised that he will “build a bully” that opponents will fear. Though Ryan is famously defense-minded, the Bills just signed the NFL’s most visible “bully,” Richie Incognito.
Read what Ted Wells, the NFL’s investigator in the Dolphins scandal, had to say about Incognito.
Now if Ryan and the Bills want to build a “battering” team, they can always sign former Baltimore Raven Ray Rice. Heard he’s still available.
Thursday, February 12th, 2015
When the Bully is the Boss
A joint production of the Workplace Bullying Institute and Biz21 Publishing
Many companies assume they don’t have a bullying problem. Employees get along. In meetings, team members respect each other. But look closer. You might find that the bully is the very person you would expect your employees to turn to if they are being bullied—the boss.
Some managerial bullying is unintentional — supervisors see themselves as “demanding results.” Other times bosses know their behavior crosses the line, but don’t care.
Not convinced? Consider the slew of new state laws protecting workers against bullying. And consider the number of companies that have rushed to adopt anti-bullying policies and procedures for investigating complaints.
The costs are real. The employee’s health can suffer, causing missed work, higher healthcare costs and reduced productivity. Bullied employees are also a flight risk, as are those who witness bullying. And there’s the threat of lawsuits against the company.
In this session, Dr. Gary Namie teaches you:
• How to recognize and respond to a bully boss
• What differentiates “bullying” from other conduct- both illegal (discrimination) and legal (non-abusive disagreements)
• Why the workplace climate may be allowing the bully to prosper
• Why owners and executives often tend to defend bullies
• How to build an abuse-intolerant, accountable culture for all employees, regardless of rank
• How to measure outcomes of anti-bullying activities that benefit both employees and the company.
Friday, October 17th, 2014
I hate talking points (propaganda) for American-style capitalism. For example, some of the most loathsome soundbites are: All hail entrepreneurship (Shark Tank); Everyone can live the American Dream if they only try hard enough; Ignore gross inequality – having a tiny elite group of individuals owning a disproportionate share of all wealth is good for the country; and Support for our neediest (compassion) is a sign of weakness.
By extension, this mindset also espouses these lies about workplace bullying … People who claim to to be “abused” at work must have provoked their mistreatment … they (targets) undermine virtuous employers … and if, and only if, someone gets hurt at work, perpetrators never intended to harm, it was all a misunderstanding or misperception by the recipient.
The WBI 2014 IP-B study countered the myth about intentionality of bullies completely. We asked bullied targets — not the public, not managers, not bullies, not HR, not owners, not executives, not corporate defenders — and they overwhelmingly stated that their bullies acted with deliberateness (82%) and knew they were harming their victims. When we add in the perpetrators acting on behalf of others, an astonishing 91% were deliberate and malicious. Only 2% of bullies were “accidental” perpetrators.
To conclude that if targets are hurt by bullying, their hypersensitivity was to blame, is a damnable distortion of reality.
What matters most is that bullied targets are hurt by decisions made by perpetrators to behave negatively. Lies about bullies’ stated intent matter not one whit. Effects and consequences trump intent. [Using the same logic, we at WBI also state that bullying is not simply based on whether or not negative behaviors occurred but if those acts happened AND they caused the targeted person adverse consequences. We allow for behaviors to have different effects on different recipients allowing for individual differences in the ability to cope and respond to negative actions. If there is genuinely no harm (immediate or latent) to the target, then bullying did not occur.]
Another arena in which the same blame-the-recipient scenario pops up is the modern political apology. Rather than say “I’m sorry,” thus accepting personal responsibility, politicos say “I’m sorry if you felt hurt by anything I did,” displacing blame on the victim of wrongdoing. And we blithely, through our inept media reporters, accept this sleight of hand by not challenging it.
Tags: bullies, bully, deliberate, intention, malice, perpetrator, workplace bullying
Posted in Tutorials About Bullying, WBI Education, WBI Surveys & Studies | 1 Archived Comment | Post A Comment (
Friday, May 23rd, 2014
New York Times’ first woman Executive Editor was fired on May 14. Perhaps the story behind the headline…
Tags: Arthur Sulzberger, bullied target, bully, Dean Baquet, Jill Abramson, Mark Thompson, workplace bullying
Posted in Tutorials About Bullying, WBI Education | No Archived Comments | Post A Comment (
Monday, April 14th, 2014
This news is really gonna upset bully apologists who worry so much about the tender sensibilities of offenders (and less about the harm inflicted by these creeps).
SOUTH EUCLID, Ohio — The man accused of bullying his neighbors for 15 years, including children with developmental disabilities, carried out part of his punishment on Sunday by sitting at a busy intersection with a large sign that says he’s a bully.
Edmond Aviv, 62, endured five hours of people yelling at him from passing cars while holding a sign that said: “I AM A BULLY! I pick on children that are disabled, and I am intolerant of those that are different from myself. My actions do not reflect an appreciation for the diverse South Euclid community that I live in.”
Aviv, who ignored the comments and rarely looked up, said the judge’s sentence and ensuing media coverage that garnered national and international attention ruined his life. He also denied he bullied the family.
“The judge destroyed me,” said Aviv, who refused to answer other questions. “This isn’t fair at all.”
Tags: bully, bullying the disabled, Edmond Aviv, neighborhood bullying
Posted in Broadcasts: Video, TV, radio, webinars, Media About Bullying, Print: News, Blogs, Magazines, Tutorials About Bullying, WBI Education | No Archived Comments | Post A Comment (
Tuesday, March 4th, 2014
WBI: The tale gets curiouser and curiouser …
Police in Arizona send Richie Incognito to mental-health facility
By Andrew Abramson, Palm Beach (FL) Post, Feb. 28, 2014
Dolphins guard Richie Incognito is receiving treatment at a psychiatric-care unit in Arizona after reportedly admitting to police that he damaged his Ferrari with a baseball bat in a fit of rage.
Incognito was hospitalized involuntarily late Thursday after Scottsdale police filed a petition to have him admitted, according to TMZ, which quoted a source.
Incognito apparently did not fight the order. NFL Media reported that he accepted the care because of the stress of the NFL investigation of his alleged bullying.
The NFL hired attorney Ted Wells to investigate claims of harassment in Miami’s locker room. The report, issued two weeks ago, found that Incognito led the bullying of offensive tackle Jonathan Martin, several other players and an assistant trainer.
Tags: bully, Jonathan Martin, locker room bullying, Miami Dolphins, NFL, Richie Incognito, workplace bullying
Posted in Employers Gone Wild: Doing Bad Things, NFL: Jonathan Martin | No Archived Comments | Post A Comment (
Monday, November 11th, 2013
The Fox Sports network allowed the named Miami Dolphins bully, Richie Incognito, to rehabilitate his image by telling his side of the story while on suspension from the team. It’s a classic example of BullySpeak, a language disembodied from reality and personal responsibility (though he does admit evidence that has been too public to deny). In the video below, catch these highlights:
3:15 mark — “maybe I need to change” (contrition)
4:00 mark — “people want to drag me back in” (to being the troublemaker he is documented to be)
4:22 mark — “if I had known” (I hurt target Jonathan Martin but didn’t know)
5:20 mark — “I’m embarassed by my vulgar text” message (that was shown to the world)
7:35 mark — “it was not an issue of bullying” (because I say it is not)
7:55 mark — “my actions were coming from a ‘place of love'” (really? he said this)
9:11 mark — “knucklehead stuff” (is all I have ever been guilty of for which I was kicked off both college and professional football teams — that’s all, just a guy havin’ fun)
10:15 mark — “I’d hug him (Martin)” “why didn’t you come to me?” (just more lovin’) Here’s the complete quote:
I think, honestly, I think I’d give him a big hug right now because we’ve been through so much and I’d just be like, ‘Dude, what’s going on? Why didn’t you come to me?’ If he were to say, ‘Listen, you took it way too far. You hurt me.’ … You know, I would just apologize and explain to him exactly what I explained to you, and I’d apologize to his family. They took it as malicious. I never meant it that way.
You see, all bullies are misunderstood, mischaracterized and misrepresented.
Follow the full story in the Category list in the sidebar: NFL: Jonathan Martin
Tags: bully, inadvertent bully, Jonathan Martin, locker room culture, Miami Dolphins, NFL, Richie Incognito, workplace bullying
Posted in Broadcasts: Video, TV, radio, webinars, Media About Bullying, NFL: Jonathan Martin, Tutorials About Bullying, WBI Education | 1 Archived Comment | Post A Comment (
Monday, November 4th, 2013
It is fact that bullied targets suffer in silence for too long. When shrouded in silence and secrecy, bullying thrives. Targets lose their jobs; bullies continue with impunity.
An interesting and hopeful exception is brewing. The NFL and Miami Dolphins are investigating the charges of an abusive work environment in the locker room by 2nd year player Jonathan Martin (picture on the right). He has accused veteran teammate Richie Incognito of intimidation and bullying. Thanks to Martin and the Dolphins for using the term “bullying.”
Martin voluntarily left the team on Oct. 28. The team put him on paid leave. A decision about his status is due by 4 pm Tuesday Nov. 5. His pay could be suspended at that time. If Martin were to lose money, he makes approximately $68,000 per game during the regular season.
The team learned of exchanges and racial blasts from Incognito directed at Martin since the departure. The team then suspended Incognito. His rants have gone viral.
The story might well have ended with teammates backing Incognito (pictured on the left) and denigrating Martin for being weak. And the Dolphins were leaning toward that conclusion over the weekend but changed when evidence became available and in their possession.
Here’s the transcript of a classy Incognito voice message he left for Martin in April 2013, a year after Martin was drafted, according to sources Multiple sources confirmed by ESPN:
“Hey, wassup, you half n—– piece of s—. I saw you on Twitter, you been training 10 weeks. [I want to] s— in your f—ing mouth. [I’m going to] slap your f—ing mouth. [I’m going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. F— you, you’re still a rookie. I’ll kill you.”
And true to form, Incognito has demonstrated a pattern of super-aggression above and beyond what is demanded by professional football. Workplace bullies are chronic abusers, not single shot offenders.
Bullies in non-sports workplaces are rarely held accountable (only 11% face negative consequences for their actions). Let’s watch this case to see if finally justice is served.
Follow the full story in the Category list in the sidebar: NFL: Jonathan Martin
Tags: bully, Gary Namie, Jonathan Martin, NFL, racial slurs, Richie Incognito, workplace bullying
Posted in Broadcasts: Video, TV, radio, webinars, Good News, Media About Bullying, NFL: Jonathan Martin, Print: News, Blogs, Magazines, Tutorials About Bullying, WBI Education | No Archived Comments | Post A Comment (
Friday, September 20th, 2013
Rep. Bill Johnson (R-OH) persecutes testifier at Congressional hearing.
Note the civics lesson — vote, then shut up.