Dr. Kristin Neff at the Univ of Texas, Austin has created her own research and practice niche called Self-Compassion. It involves (1) treating ourselves with the kindness we would extend to others, (2) recognizing our shared humanity, and (3) being mindful (and not catastrophizing) about negative aspects of ourselves. Self-compassion is superior to self-esteem since it does not involve evaluation or comparison with others. We think Self-Compassion is going to be a valuable tool for healing wounds from bullying.

Here is Kristin Neff describing the concept. You can visit her YouTube site for all videos.

Neff’s website is a treasure trove of published research articles, her Self-Compassion scale for researchers (though bullied targets will want to apply the scale to themselves and score it to gauge how unnecessarily tough on themselves they might be), and description of a training program that she hopes will create a greater sense of well-being.

Self-compassion sounds a bit like self-love, which borders on narcissism, but it is very different. It is a judgment-free way to perceive your own identity. As Neff describes it, the pursuit of higher self-esteem is problematic and more akin to narcissism.

As the Feb. 28, 2011 New York Times article about Neff’s work by Tara Parker-Pope said in its title, it is about learning to “Go Easy on Yourself.”