February 27th, 2013

Let’s Talk with Kalola: Avenger 56

Let’s Talk with Kalola, where targets can share their experiences with WBI’s blog readers. Here we go!

Dear Kalola,

I have just discovered that I am indeed being bullied in my workplace. It is a large medical company in the state of Washington. I read about all the criteria on this web site. I am so happy to finally put a name to it. I did not feel it was harassment but a form of abuse by a controlling boss. So many of the criteria fit. i feel enlightened to some degree by the information that is here for me. I will be going into meetings now better with better understanding and a sense of empowerment. With this economy companies and people have long forgotten their ethics and manners. It is every man for himself and the company where I work is one of the worst companies causing strife among its workers to attain power and control. I am a strong independent person and yet I have let thoughts of despair enter my thinking because I saw no way out, however now I do.

I have a better understanding of what bullying is and have more clarity of thought. I a person who does not give up easily when wrongs are being done. I know in my workplace others are afraid to not agree and join in the opinions out of fear for their jobs. It is all very disturbing to my heart, it is liken to emotional rape and even has physical outcomes. then it becomes about work performance because of being so targeted. My story does not have an end to it. However I now know i am not alone. I will keep you posted on the outcomes as i go along.

I hope to be able to establish freedom for people through my processes. It often feels like slavery of the mental kind. It is all very sad and hurts my heart. I am tired of spending my weekends exhausted and trying to gear up for the unknown which lies ahead each week.

Avenger 56

Dear Avenger 56,

Now that you have named what has been happening to you, workplace bullying, you now know that it isn’t just happening to you but to over 53.5 million American workers (2010 WBI-Zogby survey).  Bullying is four times more prevalent than illegal, discriminatory harassment.

From “The Bully at Work”, by Drs. Gary and Ruth Namie:  “Your sense of injustice leads you to resist finding new work.  (“I did nothing wrong.  Why should I be the one to transfer or leave?  Make the bully leave!”)  However, you give yourself power when you have the freedom to walk away with minimal economic and health damage.  Bully Busting is about regaining control over your own life.  The bully tried to steal it away.  You are reclaiming it.  By getting to safety, out of harm’s way, you win.”

Should you fight back?  This is a question asked and answered in “The Bully at Work”.  Drs. Namies say, “The disadvantages all revolve around the price martyrs pay when challenging institutions that can outgun, delay, lie, distort, and outlast any lone individual’s campaign for the truth to come out.  They include costs to your health, the toll vicious defensive employers can impose, and economic losses.”

Reference:  http://www.workplacebullying.org/individuals/solutions/the-bully-at-work/

You can only be responsible for your own actions.  If your fellow co-workers choose to not let their true feelings be known about how they may feel about the work culture then you must let it be.  You can talk to your co-workers about how you feel, and attempt to educate them about injustices that are occurring in your workplace.  Do this gently.  Don’t come on too strong or be pushy.  If a worker talks to you about being bullied, you can listen and be supportive.  You can give the worker the WBI website, and tell the worker how this website helped you to have a greater understanding about workplace bullying.

Not every worker is a Target.  Some will disassociate themselves from the Target out of fear.  Few are in a comfortable financial position that they can risk losing their job by speaking up about injustice(s) in their particular workplaces.  Do not be upset with your co-workers who don’t want to speak up.  Do not expect to change the corporate culture of your company when it comes from the top down. 

Everyone should be putting money away into an emergency fund, and not touch that money until they absolutely have to.  Things happen in life.  That cushion of money will become a blessing should the worker lose their job or the job becomes so toxic that the worker has no choice but to leave the job by quitting. 

I hope that you will be proactive and look at your options, and make a plan for your future.  You can remain at your current job, and be looking for another job.  You can be taking classes that can enhance your work skills or learn new skills.  More and more colleges and universities are offering on-line classes.  Or, you can be doing other things outside of work to distract you from what is happening at work.  Yes, the job pays the bills but it is not what makes up our entire lives.  The job is not who you are.  Consider volunteer work.  Volunteering is a good thing.  By volunteering, you are helping others or helping for a cause.  Volunteering is something that will make you feel good about yourself.  Volunteer work can be included on your résumé.


If you feel strongly about workplace bullying, there is an opportunity to volunteer in your state:  Washington state does have an anti-bullying Healthy Workplace Bill legislative campaign.  To read more about the Healthy Workplace Bill efforts in your state and how to volunteer, go to the website:  http://www.healthyworkplacebill.org/states/wa/washington.php

For our readers, please go to the following website:  http://www.healthyworkplacebill.org/

It is a new year filled with much hope for the future.  Let’s all get together to help our states to pass an anti-bullying Healthy Workplace Bill.  Why?  Because as Dr. Ruth Namie says, “Work shouldn’t hurt”.




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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 27th, 2013 at 9:00 am and is filed under Let's Talk with Kalola. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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