Early Signs of Bullying
You know you've been bullied at work when....
Experiences outside work
- you feel like throwing up the night before the start of your work week
- your frustrated family demands that you to stop obsessing about work at home
- your doctor asks what could be causing your skyrocketing blood pressure and recent health problems, and tells you to change jobs
- you feel too ashamed of being controlled by another person at work to tell your spouse or partner
- all your paid time off is used for "mental health breaks" from the misery
- days off are spent exhausted and lifeless, your desire to do anything is gone
- your favorite activities and fun with family are no longer appealing
- you begin to believe that you provoked the workplace cruelty
Experiences at work
- you attempt the obviously impossible task of doing a new job without training or time to learn new skills but that work is never good enough for the boss
- surprise meetings are called by your boss with no results other than further humiliation
- everything your tormenter does to you is arbitrary and capricious, working a personal agenda that undermines the employer's legitimate business interests
- others at work have been told to stop working, talking or socializing with you
- you constantly feel agitated and anxious, experiencing a sense of doom, waiting for bad things to happen
- no matter what you do, you are never left alone to do your job without interference
- people feel justified screaming or yelling at you in front of others, but you are punished if you scream back
- HR tells you that your harassment isn't illegal, that you have to "work it out between yourselves"
- you finally, firmly confront your tormentor to stop the abusive conduct, you are accused of harassment
- you are shocked when accused of incompetence despite a history of objective excellence, typically by someone who cannot do your job
- everyone -- co-workers, senior bosses, HR -- agrees (in person and orally) that your tormentor is a jerk, but there is nothing they will do about it (and deny saying what they said later when asked to support you)
- your request to transfer to an open position under another boss is mysteriously denied
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