October 13th, 2012

WBI Webinar: Prep for Your 1:1 Ambush Meeting

Bullies, when they are managers, love to cheat. They hurriedly call a meeting and mandate that the their bullied target attend. No agenda. No stated purpose. Then, Wham! You’re fired! This is the Ambush Meeting, something you should expect and prepare for. That preparation is covered in WBI Webinar #4. Happy Freedom From Workplace Bullies Week 2012.


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  1. Gls334 says:

    My wife could have written this script or it is as if you were there.  Although my wife took some actions during the meeting.  If they had been more decisive, they would have succeeded.

    It was a long haul in which along the way included short-term disability. It seemed like she was just dodging the bullet every step of the way.  HOWEVER (of course no one from her immediate HR would speak to me so I could help on my wife’s behalf)at the worst of it our three children all wrote letters to the company about their mother’s treatment and handed them to me.  I sent them to the corporate head of HR and simply said to him, “I have no idea who to send these to.” (He was in the UK, we are in the Midwest US.) To our grateful surprise, this corporate VP of a Fortune top 10 company emailed back and apologized.  Yes I said >>>APOLOGIZED<<<. Expressed genuine concern.  He sent his personal phone number and personal email.  He had an investigation done.  He reported back regularly, said we should contact him at any time. 

    The bad behavior came to a halt, but in getting her back to work, after the dust had settled from the corporate spotlight behavior returned, because she/we had indeed put them in a bad light. 

    This was six years ago – the outcome has been a mixed one.  I won't go on, because unfortunately bullying experiences can be such marathons.

    Great recorded webinar.  Over the years this has been such a great resource.  Still have the cup and the little stuffed bull from your fundraiser a few years back.


  2. Guest says:

    I am a breast cancer survivor being bullied at my job since 1/3/2011 by my supervisor.  I work for the FDA.  I’ve sought help and management isn’t responsive and protects the bully and her management co-bullies.  I’ve even sent messages to President Obama via Whitehouse.gov

  3. DDR says:

    Had my meeting on 10/23 Tuesday afternoon, not as expected, was asked to be less “emotional reactive to situations” sort of a just dont do it approach.. The meeting was chummy and glib,” If you need to vent , vent to me.  “Thought I made I new bud. However the next day got the sumation email which in now way reflected the glib meeting ‘control emotions’ ‘no more complaints’ mentioned customers and staff. As well as the if not fullowed further diciplanary action would be availabe. I was asked to aknowledge. I replied simply “i do “. Friday I was filling in giving a 3 hr traning lectue for a colligue, after I finished meeting man came up to me and said :ive had 3 more complaints today , we’re done. gave me the option to resign wcich i did making the comment in writing, constructive discharge.

  4. Meredith G says:

    How do you suggest I get that information from HR or Finance to prove that we are losing money? I work for a national non profit organization and our turn over has been non-extant in my department with the exception to 3 years ago I took over the position from a girl who was promoted to a different department. A month in is when the bullying started. 🙁 Is the information about prior law suits public record? Just so you know I live in Illinois

  5. STF says:

    I was on STD for 40 days at the end of 2016 due to exhaustion, depression and anxiety, mostly caused by work related stress. I work at a successful company that will not add resources for cost saving purposes. Three of the four other managers in my department quit without having other jobs lined up. I was the last man standing.

    Upon return I was warmly greeting by all coworkers except my boss who greeted me with the news that everybody hates me for forcing them to take on extra work while I was out. He also told me that nothing would change and in fact it would be likely that things will just get worse. I spent most of my first week back working to get caught up on changes, working with auditors, getting current on training requirements and trying to shake off the rust of being out for such a long period of time.

    We then had one order out of 400 for the week that was not processed on time and I was written up (the only occurrence in 33 years of employment!) as being a bad manager and that if a similar incidence should occur, I would face termination. With our volume and lack of resources, this is unfortunately a weekly occurrence. HR quietly backed up this assumption.

    I wish been introduced to this site beforehand, because mine seems to be the classic case of what has been described here. I know that upper management is trained on how to handle these sorts of confrontations, but the advice given here would have greatly help otherwise. I will take the advice given here to heart and try to make the best of my situation, but I can safely say my 14 year career (with all excellent yearly reviews) at this company will end shortly. I just hope I can control how it will end.

    Thank you for providing this excellent advice. I will share this with many of my co-workers who I know feel they are in similar situation.

  6. Ellen says:

    This description of the Ambush Meeting is EXACTLY what happened to me. Sure wish I had discovered the Workplace Bullying Institute before the meeting. In my formal response I’m going to sure this webinar.

  7. ESS says:

    EXACTLY what happened to me. So helpful to listen to this and know this type of meeting is common and has a name. I’m going to site this webinar in my formal response. Hopefully using the term “workplace bullying” will at least postpone my firing long enough to get another job.

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